Showing posts from January, 2015

Elvis has left the galaxy

In the City of Ottawa in Canada there is an organization called The Elvis Sightings Society. 

The three founding members set up the society in 1989 as they believed that 'contrary to popular opinion (and petty details such as police and coroners' reports) the King was very much alive'.

Of course, sightings of Elvis have been made around the world since his untimely 'death' in 1977. But all were either deluded, fraudulent or genuine cases of mistaken identity. 

Because we can now exclusively reveal that Elvis was in fact abducted by aliens from a nearby galaxy and taken to a planet where he now works as a waiter in a downtown restaurant.

Elvis is content in his new life, the more so as the aliens are all generous tippers, and he hopes to rise to the position of head waiter before too long.

Acknowledgement: Details on Elvis Sightings Society from their website

The day the World's Biggest Diamond was found

On a sunny day in January 1905 Thomas Powell made his regular descent down the Big Hole diamond mine in South Africa. 

Little is known about this humble employee of Premier Diamond Mining Company. But what is known is that on that January day he emerged from the mine brandishing the largest diamond ever to be ripped from the bowels of the Earth. A diamond so large that it filled his entire hand and weighed in at an astonished 621 grams. 

Thomas took his trophy to his foreman Frederick Wells. Frederick took it to the mine owner Thomas Cullinan. Thomas C. took it to an expert for confirmation that it was indeed what he thought it was. The expert took it... No, the expert didn't take it anywhere. But he confirmed that it was definitely a diamond. And then the terrible question arose - What shall to do with it?

After two years a buyer for the world's largest diamond emerged in the shape of the South African government. The politicians in Pretoria had decided that it would be a nice p…

Dawn Rose - a melodrama of unrequited whatsit

Episode One
O, my aching heart!

Dawn rose majestically over the golf course, hitched up her skirt and headed for the club house. She glanced at the luminous dial on her watch. Two-thirty in the morning.   What was she doing at this unearthly hour? Fleeing from her demons? Or was it fate had brought her to this place at this ungodly hour? She glanced up at the stars, but they gave nothing away. O, my aching heart! she screamed aloud. Her heart? She could hear it - boom! boom! - pounding inside her chest. But was it truly her heart she could feel and not her merciless soul deriding her for her inconsequential existence? My life, she thought, an unstamped letter lost and abandoned in life’s sorting office. If he wanted to leave why didn’t he just leave? Go back to his wife and his brats if that’s what he wanted. Why did he have to prostrate himself over the railway line and wait for the night express to tear him asunder? Her soul convulsed at the thought of it and she tried to shield herse…

Happy Bedford Day! ... Death thou shalt die!

It was the Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt that started the fashion. To vanquish the ravages of Time and rend themselves Immortal, they decreed that their mortal remains be embalmed and then wrapped in strips of linen, a process known as mummification.

Centuries later the practice was back in fashion, this time using a process of cryogenics whereby the body of the defunct is frozen at an ultra-cold temperature in the hope that one day science will be able to once more restore the subject to life.

The first person to be frozen this way was Dr James Bedford, a psychology professor at the University of California. 

His rise to Immortality  began in 1965 and was sparked by an advertisement of the Life Extension Society (LES) looking for volunteers for a new technique of cryogenics that the organisation was pioneering.

Dr Bedford duly presented himself as a candidate for the exciting new experiment, and on 12 January 1967 became LES's and the world's first frozen mummy.

The first stage of the…